Tuesday, August 16, 2011

His Remembrance

Cherished memories of you has helped to soften my grief,
Fond recollection of you has brought me relief,
Comfort and peace I find in the thoughts of the joy you gave.

Time and space can not take these memories away.
For I hold them too deep in my heart.
Its been possible to do, because these memories are painted in color true.

These memories have created a golden chain, linked with remembrance
Even though death tried to break,
Its all in vain.

The seconds, minutes, hours, days and years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never.
Like the happy times we shared,
When you where here,
When I could see you smile.

R.I.P (09-17-09 ) 2 YEARS
and it hurts like it was yesterday.

- daparadigm -

Monday, August 17, 2009



I cant explain the way i feel
I cant get our song off repeat...
Remembering the way we could hang out and never get bored
Remembering the way we only fight coz we cant see one another.

Friendship like this is rear.
I cry more coz i never got to say goodbye
I tell others not to grieve, but that all i do behind closed doors.
All i hold on to now are our last words.
Thank God each sec coz they are lovely memories.

Its your birthday tomorrow and i wish i could call you and you would pick up
I thought of calling u a day earlier but brushed that feeling away
I wanted to be the first right at 12am
I wanted it to be spacial.
Now i cant even be the second or the third, coz you no more

I try to remember the good times and not the bad ones
Because that is what matters the most,
but that's not just enough.
I need t know you are there
I need to know i can call and you would answer
I need to know i can see, feel and smell you .
I need to know you would still make me smile.

The last you said was see you soon,
I hate that you going to break that promise
I hate that this would be your first.
No you cant be gone, we need you here . the whole world needs you, I NEED YOU!!!!

R.I.P FRIEND.......

Saturday, April 18, 2009


" MeMe' bug!!!

Was tagged by Trebes!!!

1.Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
2.They have to be real….nothing made up! if the person before you had the same first initial,you must use different answers.
3.You cannot use any word twice and you cant use your name for the boy/girl question.
4.Don’t google your answers.
5.Make it as interesting and fun as you can.

1.What is your name: Paradigm
2.A four letter word: Pink
3.A boys name: Paul
4.A girls name: Pam lol
5.An occupation: Pilot
6.A color: Purple
7.Something you’ll wear: Pumps
8.A food: Plantain
9.Something found in the bathroom: Peroxide
10.A place: Paris
11.A reason for being late: Pregnant lol
12.Something you’d shout: Please!!!
13.A movie title: P.S, I Love you
14.Something you’d drink: Pina colada
15.A musical group: The Pretenders
16.An animal: Panda
17.A street name: Pulaski
18.A type of car: Porsche
19.The title of a song: Papa Was A Rolling Stone- The Temptations-

Tag: buttercup, Good Naija girl, Afrobabe, ........... sorry guys lol

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My lover !!!

In a way better mood than Yesterday : )
Thanx you all for your messages.

I thought I share some of my art works with you guys
since i have nothing to blog about lol ...
I am not an artist, just an art lover that loves
the paint and brushes and wishes she was an artist but can deal
with just being the lover !!! ...
and yeah my photography skills are in-existence as you
can see, and dont mind my red wall on the background of some!!!

- the Festival-
24* 36
Acrylic on canvas
One of my first pieces... Love the colors. Cant remember what was going through my head that day, but it sure looks active lol

two 18' by 20"
acrylic on canvas

-the lost-
four 11"by 6"
acrylic on canvas

-New Dawn-
two 8"by 20"
Acrylic on canvas
"still in progress"

- the Urban City-
24" by 36"
Acrylic on canvas.

24"by 36"
acrylic on canvas

-outer ego-
18"by 20"
acyclic and pastel on canvas

18" by 20"
acrylic on paper

Yep that's right, painting is my lover !!! lol " wink "

Monday, April 13, 2009



Hate this feeling : (

wish i could figure it out...

@ least that way its a step ahead...

later guys hating this "sad" blog...
have a lovely week ahead!!!

Friday, April 10, 2009

OCD -Obsessive-compulsive Disorder-

Yep my lonely guitar sitting there,
reminds me each day that i should not quit...
lol donno how
that's helping thou..

My sisters came to visit and kept saying I have OCD : (
I don't think i do, but i am a lil worried now coz they wud make the 3rd person saying this.Whats wrong with wanting things organized/ neat ?
So here are a couple of things i cant stand and i find my self fixing not minding how may times a day ... does that mean i have OCD??
@ least i don't yell like some people , i fix it !!! I love to : )

1. After taking a shower, really doesn't the shower curtain deserve to be pulled back to cover the tub????
- makes the bathroom look nice if you ask me and really i think it just should be....

2. Please dry your self a lil in the tub so you don't drip all over the floor mat!!
-who likes standing on a wet toilet mat??? grossssssssss

3. Empty sink : ) why messed that up ??
-just do your dish and leave it empty : )

4. Toilet trash half full is full to me
-its the bathroom, come on I don't wanna see the tissue all the way up !!!

4b. Kitchen trash full is full
-Please dont put trash to the side or adjust the bag so the trash is hanging out on one side. just take the bag out and get a new one!!! Oh yeah and one trash is full and you see 2 small plastic bags with trash in them on the side!!! OMG are you 4 real??? ITS A KITCHEN people cook here !!!

5. Back from the grocery store, @ least make things look presentable in the fridge/ pantry/ shelf
-the bigger ones behind and the smaller ones in front !! come on just so you can see whats what ...( lol it just looks nice that way ) : )

6. Bent area rug
-i think it just looks horrible, whats the deal, just straighten it jare lol

7. Food stain in the micro wave/cover

-thank God they invented the cover but that doesn't make it ok for the cover to be messed up with food !!!!!

8. Hair in the bathroom sink!!!!
-the sink is white, your hair is black/brown/blond/red if i can see it, so can everyone!!!!!!!!!!

9. Used blender in the sink

-that kills me . as in really plates ok i can deal with, but a blender?? !!!!!!! pouring water in it saying you socking it doesn't cut it either : )

10.Cook n Clean
-they go hand in hand... my mum always said " you use, you wash that way its not all piled up when you done" the best advice ever it just makes cooking easier and fun !!!

11. Spreading your towel on the door " so it can dry "
-OMG i cant explain how much of a pet peeve that is to me as in walking in my apt or anywhere for that matter and seeing a towel hanging on the door!! what happened to toilet racks??? towel hanger !!! say a red towel on ones white door??

12. I vacuum my guest room every Saturday when I clean, even thou no one stays there
-Ok really i agree its empty but i am already vacuuming the whole apt, i might as well ...

Cant think of any more but really if all of this means i have OCD!!! so be it !!! : )
apart from #12 a lil unnecessary i think lol
Happy Easter Everyone...

NOT an "I AM BACK" Post lol

- the urban city -
"Acrylic on canvas 24" by 36"
( dont mind my red wall on the background lol)

I Think I jinx my self when ever i do that whole " ooo I am back, sorry i have been gone for long blah blah, coz all that happens is I become MIA again and the circle continues, so lets all pretend i was never gone, ok !! lol

........saw a post on face book about vera's blog, and after going through and reading i finally realized .....
I MISS BLOGGING : ( !!!! it was fun reading through and reading all y'all's comments and i sure did have a good laugh, so i really need to create time for this. I feel its gonna take a whole lot to catch up on ,.. feels more like i am new to blog ville. : (
i am ready thou !!!


Guitar: Quit
well not really quit, just stooped ma lessons lol looking for a new teacher thou learnt how to play 2 1/2 songs, now, can only remember 1 1/2 : (
i really thot this was it men

Love life: in-existence
lol really it is. I kinda cleaned my slate, no strings attached. a whole lot happened in this last 8months that made me realize that's what i just need right about now.

: still in love
Loving it more each day. the other day thou, i cried and thot for a sec i was in the wrong discipline ( too late now don't u think?) anyways i guess i went back to my ever refresher (painting) and it brought back the creative side in me, and then i smiled and realized its architecture or nothing really lol

Painting : still in debt to
lol i soo am in debt to painting as in its helps soo much in soo many ways and donno how to repay ... planning on having a show thou, yes!!!!
so my birthday is in May, and its one of those big years that everyone expects you to celebrate
( even thou i am soo running away from that) anyways i guess the only way i would do that is if i make it an art show or sthing since i have been forced to love my pieces. I wouldnt say forced to love. i like them but i just never think they are good enuf to show !!!
so my idea??
" rent a gallery, put up my painting/pottery , and have a show!!! cocktail thingy with my art, friends and miii!!! : ) lol

Grad school: TIRED : (
really i am counting down my days men!!!!

Life: CANT BE BETTER !!! : )

Monday, September 8, 2008

Update !!!

Where do i start from?
Who or What?
Thats really what my whole trip was all about.
Who: Ma lover !!! : )
What: My summer job( yes i worked in naija. it was amazing. I so wanna go back home and practice as an architect!!!!.

Week One:
Jet lagged for 3 days.
Didnt know what to expect for the holiday by now. considering changing my return date (what in the world was i thinking wanting to stay in naija for 2 month and 2weeks. ok i love naija, but it gets to be a drag and u so counting ur days to leave.

Went to the archi firm i was to work at and really wasn't what i expected, but all that changed.

..... ok really this is all boring WHAT doesnt matter going to WHO!!!....
: )

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Last tyme i promise

I am back finally
Really back to stay.
I am getting sick of this i am back speech really
Can imagine you all are too.
So i am determined not to go away for so long
Naija was MAD fun,
So much fun i could not even blog (imagine)
Well the slow internet service sure added to that
Fell in love "i think"
Confused as hell
Cant believe i was there for over two months,
Didn't wanna come back
Cant wait to blog
All about it......
Nb: I hate grad school : (

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

One step at a tyme

So I am Home (Naija) For the summer holidays,
Its been going on great so far
Taking classes, not that bored thou.........

Learning how to play the Guitar. !!!!!!!!!
Excited as hell.
I so wanna run before i crawl.
My teacher thinks I am doing great .
I fell he is just being nice.
Gosh its not as easy as I thot.
Should have picked an easier instrument
So where did this all come from??

Out of no where my Dad bought an Organ and said he wanted to learn how to play @ age 54, we all laughed (come to think of it, thats not too old is it?)
When i arrived abuja, that was the first thing i saw in the house.
A step forward, i was impressed so lets see him actually take classes.
The first day, he actually gave me his cell phones to keep away (he never does that only if he is in church) meeting or no meeting that guys cell phone is ringing off the hook.
So i saw that determination and just had to learn an instrument my self.

So i picked the guitar
I have always thought its the sexiest instrument out there . lol ..
Now i wish i thot otherwise
My fingers are finding it hard to move around and stay where they are to be
And did i mention the blisters i am beginning to have from the strings.
Well thats my fault coz since i got my guitar, i take it every where.
I only have a month and a week to learn.
So you can only imagine how hard i am working my self.
My teacher plays so well, i asked him how long he has been playing.
He said 15 years......
They say practice makes perfect am gonna try and hold on !!!!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

-The cycle-

Fun times 
Sad times
Break Up 
Make Up 
Make up
Break up 
talk and laugh from the word but don't feel involved. 
All I am busy doing is locking little parts of me up 
Because i would not need them now that you are gone. 

nb: very abstract not true life !!! lol 

Thursday, June 12, 2008

-heavy heart -

I feel heavy, so heavy
This didn't work it made it worse
Its been 3 days and we still giving each other the cold shoulders
In 30min and I am about to leave you here
Oh God I wish i could say I am sorry for Only God knows what

But I don't want to.
Gosh how weird is it going to be when i am leaving
What am I gonna say when I am leaving,
Am I going to give you a hug and say i love you
Am I just gonna walk alway and say bye
What am I gonna do when I leave?

So is it worth it?
I dont think so

My heart has been heavy all along
My heart wanna talk to you soo bad
My heart wanna laugh and crack jokes with you like normal

But this fight isn't making it so.

"....................Paradigm can you imagine what he said"
o o o is that you talking to me.
OH GREAT you went first
lol i know i sound like a lil kid but she made the first move thats all that matter !!!!

aiight wud be back she is talking and laughing with me...
i guess thats her way of saying I AM SORRY lol
thats why i love you !!!! muah

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

- i still love you -

I hate that i am writing this about you
But you have pushed me so far that's all i can
I hate that you make me feel this way
But you have pushed me so far that i cant take this no more.

What more do you need?
Everything humanly possible i have done.
What more do you need?
You say I make you proud
What more do you need?
I give you your due respect
What more do you need?
I sincerely love you

Please understand why I had to come to this.
Please understand this is the only way I can vent without being rude
Please understand i have held this in so much its killing me
Please understand you have made me cry over and over again this time.

I hate this feeling
I hate not talking to you
I hate that i wanna hold on with this childish malice until you see my point
I hate that you SO good at it.

Please understand that this time it hurts more
Please understand that this time its different

I am sorry but i am not apologizing this time
I am sorry coz our culture demands i should
I am sorry because right now i don't care about the culture
I am sorry coz you have pushed me to this

I hope this helps
I hope this makes you understand I have my Limits
I hope this helps you understand how to relate with me
I hope this helps me understand how to accept this in you if it come to that

I know you love me
I know you know i do
I know you care
I know you know i do

But I am sorry , this tyme you have to take the first step.
i still love you........

Sunday, June 8, 2008

The list

So i sat down today after lunch and dailed my voice mail
......." you have seven new messages"
Five was from HIM and the rest from my friend. Why am i doing this was what i asked my self.........

I immediately took a sheet of paper and wrote down the names of guys that I have dated (not that much oh) or just tagged along not telling them what the deal is.
Beside their names, i had my pros and cons about them. After going down the list, it hit me.
No matter how much i try to console my self and say i am not looking for a Perfect guy. deep down I am. Some i had some silly reasons why we not together, some i had reasons that even in another life, i would never come to a compromise with and some i couldn't even understand WHY.
Because of this unconscious judgement , i try not to get close to Him, so i dont add him to the list.
I have this fear of the unknown, my unknown decision, because i know me, Once i make that decision, its final.
He doesn't get it, he thinks i am just playing hard to get, but the truth is i am protecting him, protecting another heart from being broken.
I got tired of lying "Oh am sorry i didnt get your call"
So i constantly put my phone on vibrate so i dont have to lie.
If i feel it then maybe i pick up ,
And if i dont, truely I didnt get your call.
Typing this, makes me sound like one stock up B, but really i think i am nice, but I feel a missed call is better than an annoying conversation.
At first i tried to cover it up by saying" I HATE THE SOUND OF MY RING TONE"
but guess what, you can only lie to another person, but not your self.
So my first step to this new Me, is turning my phone off vibrate, and trying to find the Good thing in Him, and let the bad work out with time.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

- Numero uno -

What? I crave sharing my thoughts and feelings.

Finally i know why i feel in love with Mr A , and what i got from him:
the act of shearing my thots and feelings.

I long for this. What exactly?
Oh no I am not sure, but i know I've had it before.
i can feel it.
It seems almost like spiritual closeness.

Complete openness at all level, emotionally, physically, intellectually and even sexually.

Also appreciated, safe, comfortable and finally i have that feeling of @ last, I am home. !!!

O!!!!, and us talking,
Moves to feelings,
and then exchange of words.

A conversation going on and on .
Its Amazing how its not hard to find conversation just in words or Sex without conversation . wow the two together with trust and feelings, makes this rare but amazing.

Wanting and longing for this time,
moment to share our thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes keep me awake at night.
What should I call it?

Finally i get it.
When I notice someone Demonstrating Sensitivity of body, heart and mind!!!
Bummm my own sensitivity and strong desire for sharing my thoughts and feelings draws me close.

That's it, Its Communion, simple I Sharing my thoughts and feelings.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

-My Journey-

I am on a  journey, 
A journey to Discover the Undiscovered. 
Figured out there's a whole lot about I that's yet to be unleashed.
I feel there is more to Me than I give and see.
I know there is more ...  
Knowing is the first step they say, so the next is actually finding out. 
Cant wait to see what I discover.  

Thursday, May 22, 2008

the truth

I close my eyes, and all i could think of is....
I wanna be there, I hear you calling but its trapped, trapped in a distance place.

You wanna express, all you have in.
wanting to have all you had before, but it needs a fight.
Fight against distance, time and goals,
Fight against culture, principles and ethics.
Fight against all i have written down in front of you.

With all this, you getting lost.
We find little time to share, but my laptop takes your place,
or better still i pass you over for exams and presentations.
And finally I realise i take you for granted,

All i have when people ask about you, is pulled out from the past
Telling stories of how we were , but not how we are
Cos thats all i have.
And then it all makes sense.
I miss you
I vow to spend more time gosh its a lie because life gets in the way
All i can say is
I'm sorry
I ignore you
Yet I don't want you to leave me
Please dont.
Just wait, please wait, I promise I'll come back
I just need to get this done
I can't deal with life if you go
Don't leave me.....you made me

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

TAG !!!


The rules:
1. Link the person(S) who tagged you to this post: doug
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

1. I love my room being pitch black and i use the light from my phone to find my way thru!!!O did i say i am extremely addicted to my phone !!!

2. I listen to the same album very morning when i wake up .

3. i am obsessed with my lip gloss, like really i cant do without it i have back up in my car, my bed side table, my lap top bag and my purse!!!. : )

4. I CANT DO WITH OUT BLACK . i am no Gothic, but i cant explain it. i actually want my braids maids to wear black and a colour like really i have to have a hint of black on my wedding dress.

5. I am quick to get over someone and some thing, simply a realist i guess. all it takes is me know someone or sthing is not right for me and in a sec i am soo over it. my friends say i dont have a heart but i say, why waste my tyme Linkon something i know is obviously not going to work??? it makes life easier. !!!

6. wow what else !!! emmm iight this is all i can think of. i am not like every regular girl , i hate all them mushy mushy stuffvvsss!!! u dont have to lie you wud cross the dam ocean for me coz u wudnt. i wanna know u care through your actions, words are just the icing on the cake. my ans wud be "yeah right" it gets annoying, but that how i feel.... goes back to the saying" action speaks louder than words" whats can i say, that's who i am .......
ps: dot tell me you love me 2 weeks into us dating !!!!!!!! i am still playing nice !!! lol just kidding but really can u tell that soon??? like i said never falling madly in love so i guess i donno the ans.
Ok, i'm done. I hereby tag standtall , anu boy , la reine , neef , unwritten , sherri

Hey !!!!

Hey guys, thanks so much for checking up on me.
Been so lazy to update. wow a whole lot has happened. Its been a mix of the GOOD, the bad and the beautiful lol ... for real, i have been blessed in every way and also had my downs.

my birthday was about a week ago!!!! ( really didnt wanna do anything coz i just didnt wanna think about growing old but hey, its life so i took it as it is and had a fun night with my friends)

Graduation was 3 days ago !!! wooowwww.. finally its over like really my thesis was wonderful, the jury loved it, did I say loved it?? yeah they did lol. i cried right after i left the stage defending my project.It was a cry of joy, relief and satisfaction. everythig came out, just the way i wanted it. I really cant explain this feeling, i tried sooo hard to stop, but it just kept pouring.
It felt good knowing all my hard work was all worth it, all my sleepless night and months of being MIA from Blog vile. lol ... so i gave up, i just let it all out. wow did i feel good after all.
All i cud think about was how much I have always wanted to be an Architect, and how good I am achieving this goal , all thru his grace. The great part was not only did i finish, but i finished well.

Now whats my next step???

Sunday, March 9, 2008

who's house is it anyways??

Its 11:20pm and i am driving down from German town, which is 1hr 30min from my house. all i could think of was "MY BED" I nearly cried when i looked at my gps and saw i have an hr to go. really i didn't know i was going to make it. Had a long ass day, this drive wasn't one i was ready for. While at my friends send forth get together, i had a blank, unsure look on my face. Why? all i could think about was the drive back. lol 
So i finally got to my street and you need to see the relive on my face. Already had my seat beat off and brought my purse to the front  so all i need to do is open and exit. 
emmm.. like they say, you never know what God has planned. 
So i drive into my parking space and all of a sudden : bang bang bang bang was i could hear on my window. 
A t-shiirt and shorts wearing  (drunk i believe) guy in the d** cold  was banging on my window, asking me to wind it down. With out thinking, i was actually going to until he reached for my door and tried to open. (thank God for auto lock emm) i said what from my closed window and door and all he said "Open the F****** door. Oh hell no he just didnt. i was soo not ready for this. all i culd think of was REVERSE. Gosh i really wanna sleep. 
i put it on reverse and drove down to the next street. kept looking thru the back mirror,  he was running after the car. ok now you all know this whole thing wke my ass up. 
did a lil drive around the next street and tried to drive back to my house with my lights off. emmm too my surprise, this drunk ass guy thinks he is soo slick. so he hides by the side of a car and as i drove closer, he comes to the middle of the road and walking towards the car again. 
"PLS Stop i really need to get some sleep " lol all in my head  
I drove past and he kicked his shoes at the car. Went out of the street and packed. I saw another car coming ad was soo happy. So he did the same to the next car and i was like oh great this wud distract him and i wud run into my house...
yeah riht, i am home alone, the doors here are not like our burglary proof lol ones in Naija if his drunk ass come breaking down the door what am i gonna do b4 the cops or someone gets here??
2secs away from my parking spot again and another 50secs  from my BED!! do i really wanna do this? next thing he leaves the side of the other car and coming running towards my car again. I totally give up, reverse and drove to my girls house. As i made a right to the highway, i was so sleepy and sad, angry that i have to drive another 25min b4 i can lay my heads down.  So much for wanting to sleep on my own BED!!!. 

Friday, March 7, 2008

Am back

So i have been off Blogville for over 3 weeks now, and i most say its been kinda weird....
a. MY THESIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY !!!! 6 weeks to go, and i changed my design, which means, new sketches, research, analysis, plans, NEW KINDA STRESS!!!! 
b. Just got my laptop back yesterday !!! yeaaaaa!!!!!!.. Ok i have my good old Dell, but the charger is kinda acting up, so i cant use it without connecting it to the power, hence it defeats the purpose of being a notebook dont you think??
c. My JOB : was a wolf in a sheep's clothing : so i i know i said i was loving my job and all, but i soooo take it back... 
d. School in general men. 
e. did i mention MY JOB? lol naa really its been a big part of it. 
So with all of this, i havent even  had tyme to log on  , talk more of updating. Missed it thou.  A whole lot have happened i donno where to start from. would update 4 sure next week. 

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I donno!!! Cry maybe????

Yes i cried as in tears rolling down , me shaking , nose running (lol not that bad but i cried sha)
15min earlier 
So i got an appointment with the apple store for 2:45. i was there at 2:20. 
Didnt call me up to the bar till about 3pm 
So it was a friend of mine, the agent and one of my professors from school
So the agent asked me to turn on my laptop, and b4  i could say anything, he immediately said they cant cover the damage. I was shocked, angry and trying to hold back. i could not get all smart or curse @ him, coz my prof was right there and i was trying to protect the schools name lol So i asked him, why do i have a warranty thats not yet expired and a protection plan if it cant cover a damage? and he kept going back and front about how they wud only cover it if it was a weather damage to the LCD like maybe the heat blah blah . i cudnt stand in front of him, he then said or we could take it in and when we done, we can call you and you can pay the bill. Ok that sounds decent, but how much are we talking about here? $1200..... as you all can see, its like the world is against me or sthing, emm all my enemies wud fall down oh, lol as in first it was my external hard drive, then now my laptop. so i walked out with the anger and pain in my heart. so i called my brother, who infected me with the mac virus and was telling him what happened. he was all oh wow try another store blah blah and if they say the same thing, let me know. and the last straw that broke the camels back he said" wow if that was me , i wud shed a tear, juts one" Immediately from no where i was in the middle of the mall crying like a little girl. i was literally crying the tears cudnt stop running down. i was using my pashmina to wipe it, but it was still pouring (gosh did i hate the look everyone's face around me had on as in like" do u need a shoulder to cry on??"
So i got off the phone with my brother crying and all i could think about was to call my mum. 
told her what happened and she was like is that why you crying? hold up really i know i love my laptop but come on, was that why i was crying??????????? anyways i told her and she gave my Dad the phone. i hate when he does this..... my mum has told him everything i said already, coz i could hear her telling him, and when he got to the phone, he was like. oya what happened???
so i had to try and force words out of my crying voice and he started laughing.. yep thats my Dad, he finds something funny in everything one says. So my mum got back on the phone and asked if my friend was by me , i said yes and she said she wanted to talk to her. She got on the phone with her and was asking her why i was crying ok I AM GROWN MUMMY just coz i am crying dont mean she had to ask my friend why she allowed me cry like she would have stopped me from crying. So my dad got back on the phone and asked what i wanted to do. i told him there was no way i was going to fix a laptop i got for $2000 with $1200. its not even a year old. I was after the cost, my dad was after my education . Yes i know all my designs and projects are on my laptop but its $1200 do you know how many shoesssssssssssssss i can buy with that ??? OH GOD . so he told me i sud do what i have to do to get my project back on track. blah blah this is your last semester (the naija thing came in) the devil knows you going to be great, first it was you hard drive now this. dont let the devil put u down.Go ahead and get a new one and make sure they get all your information back on. You would think i would stop crying then? NO i started even more. he was confussed... P what is it? lol and you say  u tough, why u crying? everything would be ok just go find out how soon you can get you information to a new notebook. 
blah blah balh the conversation went on. 
So yes now i can laugh about it, but i really cant believe i cried. i love my notebook but men its crazy why have an apple care protection BS for $349 and it doesnt cover a CRACK ???????????? so does that justify me crying??? it actually felt good, its been a while since i cried i guess i just cried all for one coz really it could not have been all coz of the notebook. lol 

Friday, February 15, 2008

lost one to get another...

Feeling a lil better. For one, my head dosnt hurt anymore, but the constant coughing and sneezing is messing with my joints men and the worse thing happened to me tonight. So I am over @ my friends place, recovering( isn't it sweet how they don't care if I infect them lol) and I most say, being around people sure helped me feel better, so I got on the bed, all strong n excited and was like, what a perfect tyme to get on blogspot. So I pick up my sexy mac book pro!!!! Lol and what did a hear? A crack ..like more than half of the screen is gone, all I can see is my dock @ the bottom. . Oh no u can't imagine how I feel right now. Like I feel like I just broke an arm of something. Customer service is closed till 6am and I am literally counting down. I donno what I wud do without my lapyyyy to think I have a case so the surface wudnt be scratched if only I knew. So I am here, on my phone updating, coz I can't sleep I need it to be 6am like right now men. So my plan is to call them at 6am and also be the first at the apple store tomorrow. I wish this was all a dream men :(

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

-Rule #No 1: Initials or First Name Please-

I wanted to blog about this last night, but i was soo sleepy .. Here it goes 
12:35pm Knock on my door. i know  well enough  i wasn't  expecting anyone .
Peeped from the window ...UPS: emm not expecting a mail either...

So i opened up and then,  2boxes : 1. Flowers, 2. Gift box  (yes Honeywell the 1800 flowers one lol gosh why did u have to soo jinx me???)  :(
So i opened the box of flowers  and was hopping i didnt sleep thru tues,n wed coz i know dam well Valentines day is not till Thursday.
 1st thing first i reached out for the card.
It was the sweetest note eva. and ended with "I hope we get to spend more of this in years to come" NO NAME NO INITIAL NOTHING !!!! how the hell am i to know who sent it. 
Opened the next box ,  A perfume "Pleasures by Estee lauder " emm I LOVE !!! (this person knows me well) with a note: "love you baby." NO INITAL OR NAME Again !!!!! 
 I was thorn between 3 guys , and i know i couldn't get it wrong. 
So i called the 3rd guy, we spoke for about 5min and i knew right away it wasnt him, coz he was still talking about oo can i see you this weekend blah blah so One down 2 to go. its between MR Untitled and MR ex.
So i called Mr Ex, tried to make the conversation as casual as possible, and trying so hard to find out if he was the one without spilling the beans. Any how yep i spilled the beans coz he used a line in the note and i was soo sure he was the one. i went ahead to say thanks blah blah and how he shouldnt have and blah blah and how he's making this breakup more difficult.( i love flowers n the perfume,  but i was trying not to show that. i was trying to make him think i meant it, "YOU SHOULDNT HAVE" . 
OMG i shouldnt have. i should have let him say what he had to say right when he said "Paradigm hold up" . But no i was focusing on how he's  making things harder and the note was so inappropriate, 
Finally i was done, and he was like" P its not Valentains day yet, i didnt send you a perfume, or flowers through the mail. Why wud i when i can come drop it my self. But i guess i get the message , I knew it was anther guy all along you should have just told me and saved me the trouble by asking you on and on.  Let me dont hold you up, go ahead and say your thank you to the right person. I just wish you told me why you wanted to break up and not come up with some excuss. what am i saying??, No excuss at that"
I was speechless, couldn't say a word. @ all coz i felt bad, not that i called the wrong person, but that he actually thot i broke up with him because of MR Untitled. Its soo not the reason and i didnt want him to think that way. i felt that wasnt fair at all. 
 So i get off the phone and immediately Mr Untitled called(if only i waited an extra Hour all that drama wouldn't have happened. 
Started off like every regular conversation and acting like he didn't  send me nothing (So honeywell there was no way i would have gotten my flowers in person until MArch ... emmm still in person would have been better thou lol )
Then i asked him if it was already the 14th in Naija, and he laughed and said he was actually praying they would have a delay n not deliver early till the 14th blah blah and how he had to travel out of town and also  make sure i got the gifts. 
We talked for a while and i knew i had to get off the phone and clear things out with my ex. not like i was guilty, but just coz i wanted to remain friends with him and this for sure was messing that all up      :( 

Saturday, February 9, 2008

I know he listens !!!! try him

Today started like every other day, call from my ex waking me up, going to the bathroom and then saying a little prayer. (i need to get closer to my God men) 
i went down stairs, trying to get some work done as soon as possible, because i had a big day planned ahead of me. 
9:30 i get a text from an old friend 
f:------------ blank 
P: hey how u doing, u sent me a black msg
f: ------------ blank 
p: Hey same thing !! its blank 
F: "God have something great for u this week, so always keep that lovely smile on ur face and received the blessings . u are the best in ur family and hope of all. "
P: aww wow thanks so  much, Amen.. so tell me is that a FWded message, or did u really mean it? either way. ... Amen . how u doing?
F: ha .. naa na. from my heart 
P: thanks i love the spirit 

i sure said a little prayer and hoped on getting my blessing.
went along with my work and all of a sudden i had this restlessness in me. i could not sit down again i could not concentrate and then i walked away. i had to leave.  i wish i could say what this blessing was, but it something i have been praying, fasting and hoping for. I wanna testify so much i donno where to start from i called my mum and she started crying on the phone. 
I know God is real, i know is is able but sometymes we human beings tend to not believe that instead we  take him for granted. i have,  a lot.
This blessing is going to cause a whole lot of changes in my life for the better. Its the perfect assurance that God is out there listening to this little girls cry at night. i love you God. Thanks you father. 
Yeah i know this is random. i have written this down in my diary, and it didnt feel ok. You know that feeling u get when u let sthing out, i didn't get that . I hope i do now. 
Lets say this is my little testimony  for my Annonymous blessing !!!. THANK YOU LORD . 

Friday, February 8, 2008

~ This woman i knoW ~

I know a woman , lovely as can be
When she sings its lights up your spirit
When she laughs , she moves the waters
When she talks, you always want to listen
When she smiles you have to smile back

I know a woman you might not understand
When she says No, its feels like a Yes
When she cries, its like a storm
When she's sad its justified
When she's hurting you are too

I know a woman i am happy i have
When she sees me she knows what wrong
When she calls she lights up my day
When she talks its all wisdom
I know this woman coz she's my Mother ...

Thursday, February 7, 2008

His, now Yours

So I am off the phone with a female friend, and all i could think of was to write !!!!.

Before she met you .....

Trust was received at first

Then slowly deceived.
Next, games thats familiar to all
Started as a joke, then slowly turned into something unpredicted.

Truth they say is a safety net, not everyone believes that.
Can you blame her? she doesnt know better.
With something as fragile as trust, once broken, it takes a while to rebuild.
What is trust, if the ones you r to trust wants a bargain out of it?

When she met you..........

It is but a word, but still has great meaning
It is a feeling thats always worth achieving

It has been seen in a wrong way but hopes for the better
Trust is simple it self, it shows you are hers and she is yours

You say you trust her i hope she does too
But can you blame her she hasn't seen better

Be caring and loving coz she has been burnt.
But keep in mind that only trust can fuel the love between you two.

I know its sad
And you are mad

But you have to prove you are you and not him.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Need some help?

So i am walking out of my department with my extreamlly FULL laptop bag, my BIG purse, My art bin  (did i say that was big too ) lol what  can i say i have a lot of shit i need in the studio @ once. So i was walking to my car and there was a bunch of guys standing by the door. So this Guy (that i didnt even notice till this moment said 
Guy: hey seems like you need some help with all of that 
P: lol naa thank you am fyne(really in my head i was like yesss pls help me out )
     Naa thanks i got it my car is right there 
Guy: i dont mean your bags i mean do you need some help with the load behind you ????
P: speachless like u all are. all i cud do was smile (the fakest smile ever and walk away)

No i dont have that big an ass I know i have junk in my trunk,  but dam not that big that i need some help !!!! .... lol

Still havent found a solution to my hard drive problem. well got a better deal for 500.  i am hoping i dont have to do that i am just really hoping. Just found out i could test out of one of my classes which mean "NO SATURDAY CLASS FOR MIII !!!! " yeah !!! lol really i couldnt see my self going to school  on saturdays did that b4 and said i would never.  I feel bad coz we have had 3 classes n i have only been to one and did i mention i was LATE? trust me i am a diciplined student but saturday doesnt count lol . 

My new Job: I LOVE !!!!!! would blog about that .... 

- Night Tyme -

Its late at night and i lay in bed:
With you in my head.

An hour gone by and i am awake wishing you were here holding me tight
Wishing i could just say am sorry

I close my eyes and i can imagine your hands on my lips:
Just the way you do when we about to kiss

i wish you where here
Just because i need you near.
Holding back all my fear

Thursday, January 31, 2008


Hey guys i know its been a while. I thot the fact that i had just 2 classes this semester, i would have all the tyme in the world to blog n have a life. Thats a big joke. My thesis and grad school applications are driving me crazy. For one, its taking me for eva to write up a personal statement. Ok i know exactly what i want to write, but my problem is how to start this whole write up. Also gathering up my potfolio is killing me. for the fact that my flash drives that has half of my college and career work IS MISSING !!! i know i should be more tensed than i am right now, but where is that gonna get me? I feel so empty without them i had a back up, but how nice, my external hard drive isnt working. for some funny reason no computer is recognizing it so i went to the Geek squad to see if they could retrive my documents for me and guess what ? Well they said to start up, i am looking at $1800. lol a joke right ? I wish. I guess i would figure out what to do as soon as possible. i need to get my personal statement ready first and my potfolio comes in when i get an interview so i guess i would take it one step at a time.
There you go Honey well that why i have been MIA.
So i have been busy to blog, but i must confess not too busy for Mr Untitiled. lol
what more can i say, we getting closer n i am falling deeper.lol  
He plans on coming over early March wow you can only imagin how excited i feel and how much i am looking fwd to his visit. 
Still talking with the Ex, yes he is the Ex now but he still wants a reason !!!! Ok really i know i would love to know the reason why someone wants to break up with me, but if its taking them over a week i think i would get the message and stop asking. Well like i said "if it was me" So lets just say he's not giving up. 
i kinda miss him thou ....... oops did i say that out loud????

Thursday, January 24, 2008

facebook has done it again

So i got this message tonight and i remembered the post "Honeywell" had about the message sent to her friend. i had to share........ (facebook messages)

Ist one
Subject: Princess Paradigm (.... princess???)
compliments my sweet sister
u look like the 1st creation with that ur angelic
smile. u also seem graciously immaculate and fascinatingly flambouyant. i 'll like to know a little more about u . get in touch pls, tell me more about ur social side.
# 6*******
No reply... 3hrs later another message

Subject :Baby
Hello sister, u look immaculately hot and sexy. were u born on a sunday morning ? i 'll like to know more about u pls call me or send your number ..6*********
*** ok "
graciously immaculate and fascinatingly flambouyant." who says that ???? like really what happened to the hello how are you doing?
and "were u born on a sunday" can someone break that down for me ????
and really did he have to us all those words??????
Still laughing here. i wish i cud be that BOLD...........

.............................. blah blah blah .................................

Mr u: i miss taking you around and talking dirty lol architecture i mean
P: lol u funny i miss that too
Mr u: how have you been?
P: i have been lovely and you?
Mr u: just ok. work is fyne, family great, me : missing u .
P; lol thats funny
Mr u: naa am 4 real. i know i promised i wasnt going to force and rush things but i feel if i dont tell you how i feel its my loss.
P: Untitled pls dont
Mr u: pls dont make me lie to my self. i thot if you left things where going to slowly go back to normal, but its not, and the best part is , i dont want it to. I love the way i feel about you , i love the way i feel when my lil niece mentions your name, or i think of you. i love ...
P: Pls stop pls stop you making this harder
Mr U: i know i am being selfish, I know you are confused right now and need tyme to sort things out, but i do not want to make things more difficult for you but all i ask for is you take your tyme and sort things out. dont tag me along just to tell me u just wanna be friends. do what ur heart wants and if i am involved i wud be the happiest man on earth .
P...........(silent or sud i say speechless)
Mr u: are you there p?
P: yes i am
Mr U: pls say sthing . was i the only one that felt something the day u left? that kiss meant a lot to me. can u tell me u didnt feel nothing?
P: silent
MR U": paradigm pls talk to me
P: i donno ........that kiss wasnt meant to happen
MrU: but it did ... n thats not my question
P: i donno what i felt ( gosh was i sooooooo lieing i know how exactly i felt i still feel my heart racing when i think about it)
Mr u: P thats fyne u dont have to say nothing right now. I am here when ever you ready.
P: thanks for understanding
P:oo guess what i got a job offer as a freelancer !!!!!
Mr u: o wow babes that's great how, when, whats it about?
P: yesterday they saw sthing i worked on n contacted me , also i need more experience in graphic designs i guess i have been concentrating more on architecture i thot i do sthing different.
Mr u: thats nice happy for you.

................... blah blah blah blah ......................

Mr untitled and i have been talking everyday, maybe every other hr. its been great but i hate it wen our conversation gets to this turn. Gosh he is so what i want. but am i sure? thats what i know , just what i know. Well as per my bf. we talked yesterday thats a whole another story. told him i meant it when i said things are not working even thou he is still saying we cud work things out, i think i was more sure and he got the point. i promise this has nothing to do with mr untitled, but its something i need to do. I feel bad i am tagging him along and i dont feel the same way he does. I fell ,why say i am his gf if i dont act, think, feel that way. I feel i am hurting him more by not ending this now. so i stood by my ground last night and told him.
Gosh i hate break ups!!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

-His Taste-

I wasn't going to blog about this, but Dl asked the funniest question!!!"has he kissed u yet? what does he taste like? lemon? shit? abeg update oooo"

So i decided to title this post, "His Taste" before i start, i know for sure its not like shit, lol but not too sure about lemon.....
13min B4 knowing:

its 12:30pm and i am rushing into town. I have just 3 hrs to spend with Mr untitled today before i fly out, and i hope we have as much fun as we normally do. Last night didnt end too good coz i was ansing a whole lot of questions. Questions that has to do with him, me and my bf. Am i going to leave the devil i know for the angel i barley know? am i going to loss the what seem perfect for the very imperfect? how am i going to let my bf know i really want out? am i getting out coz of me or coz of MR untitled?? what do i really want? what does God want for me? how..........."Phone ringing, interrupting my recollection process"

Mr U: sorry am running late, the meeting took longer than i expected.

P: thanks fyne i am not there yet should be there in 10min

Mr: oh cool i guess i would be there before you than, was worried i kept you waiting

P: na u didnt call u when i get there

Mr U: ok then

... so where was I? yeah How do i know .. how do i know what ? gosh his call messed my whole thinking process up.. anyways what eva i am just going to enjoy this day and i guess see what time has in stock for us.

I get out of the car to meet him gave him a hug as usual and immediately his face was in front of mine. I could barely feel his lips at first. was so soft it could have been a rush of air over my lips. Immediately, my eyes closed shut in response, the absence of one sense( sight) alerted the other four. Especially the one i want in particular( touch) Two more gentle brushes of what felt like air( am i imagining them i thot) Eager to feel his flesh against mine. The next touch of his lips takes away the notion from my mind, The thot that this is an imagination. There is pressure now, firm but soft, cool yet warm, sweet yet minty. The warmth from his touch moves into me through the union of our lips causing "real" butterflies to rise in my stomach, my palms sweaty and my heart raceing.... dum dum dum i could feel his too. I love the feel of his lip. I was surprised that angular face of his could contain anything soft. so soft, so delicate, so .... wonderful. As i think this, his lips part, but not too much, just enough to trap my upper lips a hint of a nibble and a suck is all i get...... : ( Dont stop now, i want more is all i thot.

I part my own lips in response trapping his upper lips now. Its luscious and thick. the tip of my tongue flicks out, am eager to taste.... he groans in response, I release his lower lips, and our mouth fused once more. this tyme, they open simultaneously, creating something huge just waiting to explode. with butterflies still in my stomach and both hearts pumping so fast, instead of plunging his tongue in, he starts to trace da outline of my mouth, punishing me with my imagination of his talented tongue just on the edge of my knowledge. Trying so hard to think, everything about him is power play, with no doubt, he would say the same thing about me. I thot it was part of what makes our kiss so exciting,.. finally i give in. my tongue goes deep into his mouth, investigating the sweetness there. he tasted of a fragrant wine, it was rich,powerful and heady. It left me slightly drunk and defiantly craving for more. I then rolled his taste on my tongue like a fine expert. emm absolutely delicious. Upon my verdict, his tongue reaches out to taste mine as well . My eyes squeezing shut as i wonder what he tastes in me. The craving within became almost too much to bear.

I need to reciprocate. I need to touch him too. The mere meeting of our mouth isnt enough to capture the sinful richness of this man. My fingers reached out hesitantly at first, i pushed back. then again brushing slowly against the razor sharp edge of his cheek. wow this was the only touch we share, he then leans into my lands, encouraging me. i cup his cheek with my warm palm. My fingers trace sensuously along his jaw line, tracing the strong features of his face that i know by heart,

I reach out with my left hand as well now, cupping his face as I pour my desire into our kiss.
His tongue grows more daring now, stroking against mine , tracing it from every angle. It is an artist’s paintbrush, his paint brush gentle and so sure, creating a master piece and beauty within me. Or maybe it just reveals the beauty that was already there... lol
Oh god! The things his tongue is doing are anything but innocent. He finds every spot that makes me gasp showers them with attention... His moves, reaching out to gently hold my waist in place as he kisses me breathless. I know the skill of those fingers, the innovative ways in which they make love to my body... did i say make love?? yess thats how i felt ...Yet they remain still, content merely to hold me for the moment.
With his touch, the burning passion within him finally rises to its highest flame. His mouth becomes possessive, over mine, pouring out every emotion in his poet’s heart, showing his......... ring ring ring ring .. oh no, not my phone. Immediatly i pulled away. was i dreaming? was it an immagination? the look on his face made me realize it was all real. Oh no i tried so hard to avoid this. not like i regreat it, but now i know this is going to make this hard. so hard for me to let go. I pick up the call just so as to break the ice. I felt shy??? did i say shy?? yess ...why ,? i had no clue. i had no idea who was on the line and what i said all i had in mind was the kiss, his taste............

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Pre - His Taste-


days b4 i leave n Mr untitled said he wanted to take me somewhere special!!!( doesnt he always say that?) .I got dressed, took extra time i guess i just wanted to look really nice for him and also be ready for any other princess or queens of his castle. lol (just kidden) .

Getting to the area, all i cud see was residential houses (i know well enuf he wasnt working on any at the moment .. he told me every building he was working on) so i asked and he had this annoying smile on saying well i wanted you to meet someone special or should i say someone thats very special to me wanna meet you. I froze for a sec and said what? Yes it was his mother and hell yes i wasnt going in. Well after 20min of constant back n forth, i finally went in with him.

Meeting Mrs Untitled :
Mr U : hey mom we here
P:"we here?? gosh why does that sound so scary !!!!"
Mom: just a sec darling wud be with you guys
Princess : Uncle Uncle you made it
Mr U: hello my princess how r u?
P: hey hon how have u been?
Princess: am fyne thank you and you?
P: been lovely
Mr U: where is your mum?
Princess: she dropped me off and said she would come get me later.
Mom: hello my dear you most be Paradigm
Princess: grand ma , grand ma, i told you she was pretty

"wink" lol
P: yes i am ma. nice to meet you........"had this smile on i had no idea weather it looked cheesy, fake or real"
"his mom had the cutest hair eva its was all grey with little strikes of black gosh i made a quick prayer"lord pls let me age this way "lol
Mom: so since MR U made it soo clear to me that i should not bug you, because you guys are just "friends!!!!" i am trying soo hard not to wanna see you again. but friends do visit each others family dont they ?
P : lol yes they do ma'am . @ Mr u: i gave him a lil pinch coz of the way he made his mom emphasis on the just friends it was soo obvious it was my idea....
Mr u: trust me i know my mom, u wud run out n i dont wanna loss you
p : yeah yeah what eva,(he hates when i say that )
So we all had a little chat n had lunch. Princess was the central of attention isnt she always? (trust me i am not jealous of an 11 year old.....). She had a story to tell about every thing we talked about on the table no matter how slightly related it is, in her own little world she had a similar experience. After lunch, which i most say, wasnt as bad as i thot, Mr untitled excuse himself and I. We got ready and princess asked if she would see me again, all i could say was definitely some day. she wasnt too pleased with my ans and looked at Mr untitled and said "you better make her come back" he then told her, " its all depends on her she's the one that needs to make up her mind"-- No he didnt have to put me on the spot like that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well his mum walked us outside after we both exchanged pleasantries. " I hope to see you again dear and maybe then both of you would have taken off the fake sticker of "we just friends" on your forehead's" .... we all laughed and got in the car.

]The rest of the day was fun but sad @ the same tyme. We both realized i would be out of here in less than 24hr, no more archi talks one on one, no more long ass lunch breaks, site seeing , constant laughs and BIG tyme flirting....
why did we have to meet right b4 i was about to leave?
why did he have to move back to Naija?
why now?

He asked what i thot about long distance relationship, my ans wasnt too encouraging he said. but really i have been in one b4 and i didnt like it. the pain in missing someone isnt really worth the rush of excitement when you met them after a while. you grow apart no matter how much you talk on the phone and is just too painful. I really wasn't ready to go through that again and at the same tyme, i really wasn't ready to loos my Mr Architect .

Monday, January 14, 2008

Mr Untitlied and his Princess ( Not me .. i wish )

Dl has been asking for an update on Mr untitled... A lot has been going on but I still cant find that dirt. I know its such little tyme but there have to be some dirt.

Here it goes : UPDATE!!!

So Mr untitled and I have been hanging out a little too much on the name of “architecture” yeah right. We both know its more to it than our passion for architecture. Its been amazing I most say, so amazing that I forgot I have a BF… “oh shit I have a bf. Need to call him back. Been saying I was going to call back for ages now” anyways he has been taking me to different kinda building type : lounge , restaurants , bars ...... Not just to the places, but we go and talk about the architecture too” my kinda date” lol I know I am weired, see why a non architect or non art lover would be miserable with me around…. anyways we have been talking about our selves all thru and i feel like i have know him for over 2 years now. ( i cant believe i am saying this) anyways i am so scared for the weekend to come coz i feel this thing "what should i call it?" fling? game? friendship? WHAT??? would end pretty soon.

Stupid me:

So i have been looking extra hard for any flaw Mr untitled has and its gotten me a lil bit paranoid.
"This was really embarrassing"
----Mr Untitled and I at a lounge ---
we were talking and all of a sudden someone walks by
Some1: Hey Untitled how you doing?
Untitled: Am doing good and You? Its been a while

S: Yeah Been busy with work you know how it is
U: Oh am sorry this is Paradigm , Paradigm met Someone.
P: Nice to meet you.
S had this wired smile on saying nice to meet you too, "winked @ U n asked : So howz ur princess??
P:WHAT?? Princess?? ok God i wanted to know his dirt but not like this......."hold up why u getting worked up?you guys arent dating...naa but he told me he had no one - SELF STOP - stop calm down and listen ------

U: she is doing wonderful asked after you told her we wud come see you later this week.
S: that would be great looking fwd to it. i would let madam know so we can all hang.
S: nice to meet you paradigm
P:same her "smile wipped off tried to fake it, cudnt work"
U: bye then.

So he left and MR U kept smiling and asked if i was ok after apologizing for taking my tyme i said it was ok but still had a straight face on. we finished up, and he dropped me up and asked if he could come in ... "i dont think its a good idea " was my response. "ok then sorry i pushed" was his. he drove off and called me later. we only talked for about a min coz i faked being sleepy.

The next day was already planned b4 sun rise .
We where to meet @ a spot to have ice cream n get lunch after. While @ home i was trying so hard to get over what i heard the night b4 ok really why was i mad? was it coz i was beginning to like him? but come on you have a bf n u tripping coz he has a "PRINCESS" how cheesy i said lol . so i tried to get my self off that selfish mode and got dressed up n ready to leave.
As soon as i saw him that anger rushed in. why?
He looked as sexy as eva gosh he knows how to dress. he was always looking on point and today wasn't different . the thot of him having a "princess" made me angry .....he came walking by me with this big smile on and as soon as he saw my face, his wiped off. he asked again what was wrong n i stood by my " i am ok" he asked again and said " its ok if you mad at something, just tell me you dont feel like talking about it right now." " Yes there is something wrong, but i dont feel like talking about it right now " i said ---. "Ok then thanks for telling me, i hope you feel better n can tell me later coz its affecting me and our time" he said. Our tyme? what does he mean our tyme ? lol i laughed. we walked in the shop and stood on the line. it was kinda a long one. kids are still on holiday so it looked like they where all out there ...
2 more people in front, thank God
"Uncle. uncle" - from a cute lil girl standing at the door running toward me.
hey my princess- from right behind my ears.
YES she is the princess. His Niece. she ran into his arms and he gave her a big hug (gosh i want dirts not things to make me fall deeper)
hey princess i want u to meet someone.
U: princess this is paradigm .. p , meet my lil princess Ola.
P: speechless for a sec" looking @ MR U and feeling so stupid for giving him an attitude all along "

P: Nice to met you sweet heart i love your purse ( she had the cutest purse a girl of her age can have on ")
Princess: thank you i love your shoes .
P: thanks hon. How old are you?
Princess: i am 11
U: going on 31 lol
Princess: no am not.

P: lol nice to meet you
U: where's ur mum?
Princess: she is at the door talking to a friend .......
Yes it was his niece
yes i felt stupid

yes i still feel stupid

Yes i think he knew that was why i had an attitude
Yes he asked

yes i denied it lol
yes she is adorable
Yes i like him

yes i need some dirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just one wud be fyne ...

He cant be all perfect can he?

Saturday, January 12, 2008


I was tagged by Desperate lady, i haven't done this before either so bear with me guys .

Two Names you go by:

1) Aj

2) P

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:

1) Pj's

2) my glasses

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:

1) trust n understanding

2) love n romance

Two of your favorite things to do:

1) paint

2) laugh

Two things you want very badly at the moment:

1) another vacation

2) my jill scott's cd

Two pets you had/have:

1) a fish - i actually almost flushed her down coz i had to travel on vacation so i gave her out instead. : (

2) fish (still alive lol) : )

Two people you think will fill this out:

1) N.E.E.F

2) Honeywell

Two thigs you did last night:

1) went out with friends

2) danceddddddddddddd

Two things you ate last night:

1) spring roll

2) more spring roll lol

Two people you last talked to:

1) my lost best friend i haven't spoken to in 5 years

2) Mr Untitled "wink wink "

Two things you're doing tomorrow:

1) going to the bank

2) lunch with Mr untitled "double wink " lol

Two longest car rides:

1) Atlanta to Baltimore

2) -------------------

Two favourite holidays:

1) Christmas

2) thanksgiving !!!

Favourite Beverages:

1) Water

2) coffee !!!!

Person no longer alive you'd like to talk to:

1) Grandma

2) E ( high school class mate)

Thanks DL now i feel the way u did. This sounds boring... i read throu and was like emmm do i post this???
Here it is anyways .. thanks for tagging miii...

i hereby tag: Neef, Honeywell, rethots, little miss me, Undaconstruction, the scribe and my perspective !!! enjoy

Thanks yall for stopping by !!!!

Hope she loves it !!!


Ok this sounded so hilarious that i had to share .
So i went out last night with my brother, sister and his and my friends. We all met up at my brothers house and i was introduced to a guy by my brother.
Brother: Hey met my lil sis Paradigm
Guy: Nice to meet you i am guy ( i wish i cud use his name to make this sound better lol)

P: Same here i am Paradigm
Brother: you two talk and yeah Paradigm did i tell you he loves parrot???

P:"in my head" ok why did he just say that? i was as lost as you all are right now. I was wondering why my brother said that, but thats all he said and walked away so i asked the guy and he found a nice way to shove it off.
................. we later got to the lounge and the guy called my brother out and warned him not to talk about the parrot Gosh was i now more eager to hear what the parrot was all about......
So the next day, we all had to go visit my lil brother @ school and we ( my older brother, sis, and i) where all talking about last night so i remembered i wanted to hear the parrot story. perfect tyming and perfect person. My brother loves to tell a story and swears he can ALWAYS be funny.
My bother: aiight you all need to hear this, mummy come on you too. So my friend Guy and i where talking and jisting about our experiences with falling deeply in love with a lady and was shearing things that we have done that where really stupid. when i heard his story, i couldn't even say my coz his was way crazy.
the story: the guy had this babe that he was dating and was soo in love with her right so it was her birthday and he was thinking of the perfect gift to get for her. he then decided to get a parrot... yes a PARROT and said he was going to train it to say " Guy loves you " guy loves you" ..... and to him the trip would be when her guy friends come to visit her, the parrot would keep going "guy loves you" guy loves you" ...

ok this sounded really funny in person as in we where all cracking up laughing like crazy. how love can make some people think of really creative "funny" gift ideas. I am sure it was from a good heart. But come on a parrot??? call her and send a text message lol.