Unfaithful

How i know?
Never spending time with what i call my true love
Never putting you on my priority list
Never setting aside time for just us like i always did
Never maintaining the good communication we used to share

These are what makes me feel this way
These are what makes me realize i am being unfaithful
These are what makes me feel so sad,
These are the things i do to hurt my one true love

We had the best time together
We sheared thoughts and secrets i would never tell anyone
We where together when i didn't want anyone around me
We where together cos.....

You helped me in expressing what i feel in the easiest way
You helped me realizing why i feel in love with you in the first place
You helped me in seeing what i got inside
You helped me in being me and loving every bit of that
you helped me to be where i am today

My love for you was all i could think of
My love for you i don't see no more
My love for you i wish i could have back
My love for you was one i could call true love
My love for you I long for each day
My love, can you forgive my unfaithfulness ?
My love, can you be a part of my life like you used to?

You became a part of me,
And I a part of You
Who are you they ask ??
POETRY !!! :

a lil past midnight !!!!

its 12: 16am and i know i am to be in bed
its 12: 17 am and i am so not passed this one line
its 12:20 am and i just got a text message
its 12: 20am and i am thinking"didn't i say i was going to bed an hr ago??? "

the sad part is .................. i have been waiting on that text message from the time we hung up
the sad part is that text message put a smile on my face
the sad part is i cant control how i feel
the sad part is................... its so unlike miiii


its 12: 23am and i finally get my self to reply you
its 12: 24 am and i am still trying to find the right words
its 12: 25 am and i finally click send
its 12: 26am hold up ............. OH NO not a call

the sad part is i really hate the way you make me feel
the sad part is you actually make me feel normal to others
the sad part is i am not used to this
the sad part is why cant i hide my feeling this tyme?
the sad part is i don't wanna believe i need to open up
the sad part is .................

its 12:38am and you just snapped me out of my thoughts
its 12: 39am and i am still trying to make you realize i was really with you but hold up, that was "in my thots "
its 12: 40am and you finally believe me
its 12:50am and I give an excuse to get off the phone with you
its 12:51am and you wish me good night

the sad part is i really didn't wanna get off the phone
the sad part is i was actually feeling the conversation like i always do
the sad part is now i am hear still thinkin about you
the sad part is i bet you are too coz ............

its 1:00am and i get a text from you saying "thinking about you"
its 1:01am and i am smiling to my self and wondering why the hell i wouldn't give you a chance
its 1:05am and i send you a reply saying" sure we could do lunch tomorrow"
its 1:05am and i am glad i answered the question you asked me at.... 12:42am
its 1:06am and for the first time i am looking fwd to our maybe 5th date
its 1:07am and i am finally realizing maybe you right, .... maybe you are the one

the sad part is .......naa the GOOD thing is i am soooo looking fwd to finding out
the good thing is i feel better not lying to myself about how i feel
the good thing is i am already making up in my head what i wanna wear
the good thing is .....................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

its 8:10am and i jumped up realizing i fell asleep thinking about you
its 9:00am and i am at work wishing it was 1:00pm already
its 9:02am and i am replaying all that happened...."a lil past midnight"

the quote

aiight we had this program at church yesterday and at the end the teacher used this quote that was HOT!!! i thot it's was worth shearing

"God give me the POWER to change what i can change
GRACE to accept what i can not change and
WISDOM to know the difference between what
i can change and what i can not change"

it really helped in answering a lot of my questions really there are a whole lot of things and people we can not change so i guess the best we can do is accept it for what it is. defiantly need to apply this in a whole lot of aspect in my life that i would blog on later ......

wot is it really???

.... its been a while since i posted anything and it coz of my present predicament, did i just use that word? well maybe i did thats too big by the way wudnt really say predicament, i would say !!!! state of mind. lol aiight really heres what's going on.
.... she is stuck in btw what she wants and what her heart wants...gosh its soo annoying not knowing what's right for you, How i wish i just could see the end of my book and know what the hell to do.
SHe loves her Pumps, but at the long run, they gonna hurt. They have been nice to her, been thru thick and thin really and them Pumps defiantly knows how to make her look HOTTTer !!!.... and also loved in a funny way. them Pumps have been there and made her feel mad spacial you know, the way it is to be. It took a while , but she got used to them. she can run , play and do whatever in them. She loves the way they lift her up so high and make her feel on top of the world in every aspect. But one day, it downed on her, they wherent just fitting right anymore, they where gonna give her some bas ass ankle pain in the long run, deep down she didn't care but there was also that lil bit of fear of the unknown u know the fear of not knoing what to expect at all. Gosh she wishes that wasn't so. She wishes she could over look the bad part of the pumps, not that there was really something wrong about them, it was just something that was inevitable. she wishes she could love them for the faithful days and for the great memories they had together BUT isnt that settling????? is it? come on i need an answer!!!!
i know its not gonna be that easy or else this world would be one boring sad box but come on cant this be an exception???

...sadly, she places them sexy ass Pumps in a shoe box ...
hoping no one else would wanna come borrow them...
hoping deep down she would not loss them ...
hoping when she wants to wear them again, they wud still feet perfectly .. God she feels so bad hearing that. selfish i wud say but deep down thats how she feels.
hoping and hoping that one day that fear of the unknown would not take the best out of her
hoping that pair of Pumps that makes the world look at her with envy would not up and leave.

still in her world of hopes, she got some sexy ass sandals as a gift. a gift to make her avoid the thoughts of how much she misses her pumps . Shes been resting them pretty feet of hers just so when she is ready to finally pick up the Pumps back or maybe find a better style, she would be ready and take it for what it is.
This pair of sandals has comfort, class and style . you might ask what more does she want? the perfect pair has found her, but its different.
with then pUMPS all she needed to do is slid her feet in but with this new pair she has to be open, bend over and buckle.
BEING OPEN is one thing she's been running away from. she got away with it soo well in the days of the pUMPS but now shes not even giving the chance of day to even avoid that. NOOOO she is so not used to this and its driving her crazy some times she just wants to go in to the shoe box and take out them Pumps that made her feel comfortable in her flaw.
BENDING OVER TO BUCKLE ??? u kidden me? wow she has been sooo used to knowing that was not necessary at all. Fyne it made her see things she never thot she had, made her feel things she has never felt, but
it was really taking her out of her way.
it was really making her put in more effort.
it wasnt what she was used to.
DOES THAT MAKE IT WRONG ?
DOES THAT MAKE IT SECOND CHOICE??
NO deep down she loves the change,
deep down she is tripped by the way the sandals shows her pretty manicured toes
deep down she loves the way the sandals make her sure she is doing the right think
deep down she wishes she could forget about them pumps and enjoy what her new pair of sandals has to offer.
now thats her predicament if you most say...
and her sate of mind is ....allowing them pumps go.
accepting the fact that she wants a change
accepting the fact that she is not willing to just settle for less
accepting the fact that her yesterday love for her pumps was not less but just not enough
accepting the fact that she wants to bend down
accepting the fact that she cant hold on to them pumps just coz she is afraid of being bear foot..
IS THAT IT ? is she afraid of being bear? is she holding on to them just cos?
IS SHE JUST AFRAID TO LET GO ???
wot is it really??? somebody tell her